No Happy Ending.

I haven’t been staying for Maths until the end of the day for ages. Today, is just one of those days. I just can’t help it but feel bored each time I have to see my faci’s face. Seriously. Lemau la sial. I mean I feel like my first year is a ride or something. I swear TAK PERLU.

The word exhaustion/tired is not in my vocab anymore somehow for the past three weeks. I haven’t been thinking. I haven’t been in the right state of mind. I haven’t been sleeping either. I have been sick but I’ve been thinking and pondering more than ever in my life.

Just when I thought so.

No, don’t read my mind baby. Its mapped out to a whole new level where no words exist. I am almost as good as wordless right now.

While I’m at it, I might as well make the best of it.. and actually be happy.

An excerpt from the past.

everyone says.. i am blinded.. by love. really? i am not blinded. i know she hurts me. i know i feel immense pain and hurt. and i continue loving her even though almost everyone i know slammed it in my face she don’t deserve it, i deserve more and she’s not worth it. but thing is.. love is just unconditional. pain, hurt, good, bad and well.. tears, joy, sorrow and heartbreak. ok. slap it in my face that i am being stupid.

I’ve always believed in unconditional love that sometimes, I just stoop so low.

Tell me about it because I’ve been there.

And I’ve done that.

From This Moment On.

I have school tomorrow and at this moment in time, I’m twirling into a million different thoughts that I need to seek solace one more in this white empty box.

How I wish you were real enough that I could talk to, tell me what to do. Because I’m helpless.

God, please bless me with strength. A strength inside you’ve never bestowed on anyone before. Please give me the strength that I need, to make this work. Please provide me with answers to what you have blessed me with.

On its own, rewind and replay. I wanted to try. I wanted to be the stonger one. I held back my tears. It was so overwhelming that I just had to even though the words kept ringing in my ears and in my head. Because I know I have to. My world was ripped apart in a split second. But I tried.. because, its just a bad dream. When I wake up tomorrow, every hurt, every pain will go away.

If I could give you the world I would. If you wanted stars, I’d gladly climb the skies. I wanted to give you everything. But I’m not what you wanted and I’ll never be.

I’m the one, who’ll never be good enough for you.

Through the fire, to the limit, to the wall
For a chance to be with you I’d gladly risk it all
Through the fire, through whatever come my way
For a chance at loving you, I’d take it all the way.
Right down to the wire, even through the fire.