Just So You Know.

I shouldn’t love you but I want too.
I just can’t turn away.
I shouldn’t see you but I can’t move.
I can’t look away.

And I don’t know how to be fine when I’m not.
Cause I don’t know how to make the feeling stop.

It’s getting hard to be around you.
There’s so much I can’t say.
Do you want me to have the feelings?
And look the other way.

And I don’t know how to be fine when I’m not.
Cause I don’t know how to make the feeling stop.

Maybe It’s Just Me.

Bring me into a land of fairytale, a place where brave knights and true warrior exist. Where magical potions is only within a walk away and magic spells, work a thousand wonders. Bring me into a land where I can call my own, where I have no worries, no troubles and an immaculate sense of twisted love.

How else do we work things out when I’m just being the person I have always been? How do I open up your heart to accept me in yours and how do I make things better when bad days come along?

Smile. Amidst the facade I’ve been putting up, creating an outlandish exterior of the person that I really am inside, I am nothing but just human whoms emotions are raging wild. I smile, I laugh and when I cry, I’m just not the person you potray me to be.

Maybe it’s just me but you seem finally happy
I don’t think I’ve seen your face just glow like a neon sign
And maybe we should be alone for ever after
Cause even thought the nights are long
At least I’ll make it another dayCause I can’t live if you’re not happy
I can’t live if you cry
But I can live without you if it makes you smile.

And maybe things got weird after all that went down
Things were oh so clear
That I could never get the right
So tell me what your plans are
And tell me what you’re doing
The only thing I’ll hold against me is a picture of you tonight

Time for you to think things over
Time to talk the drama down
It’s not a contest of who’ll try harder
Or who’ll cross the finish line

And I can’t live if you’re not happy
I can’t live if you cry
But I can live without you if it makes you smile
And I can’t wait to see you rise
And I can’t wait for you to shine
But I can wait for you if all you need is time.

Baby, if all you need is time, I’ll wait until the end. I’d try if you try and I’d give up all the dreams I have just to spend one more night with you.

I love you.

Epoch.

I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
And each road leads you where you want to go
And if you’re faced with the choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
And if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walking until you find the window
If it’s cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile
But more than anything, more than anything..

My wish for you
Is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you’re out there getting where you’re getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you
And wants the same things too
Yeah.. this is my wish

I hope you never look back but you never forget
All the ones who love you
And the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
And you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God’s grace in every mistake
And always give more than you take
But more than anything, yeah more than anything

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big.

PS: Break away love. You’d do good.

Marvelment.

And when I close my eyes
You’ll be right by my side
If I could only have one wish
You’d be the girl whose lips I’d kiss
All my only dreams.

Baby, you’re so amazing. You make me smile all day, you give me goosebumps.. Unexplainable touch that caress through my heart.

How I wish you were mine. I’d wanna fall with you again, over and over again. I love being next to you, love being in your arms. I love the way you kiss my neck and I love the way you make me speechless. The way you look at me so intense. The way you say that “You’re thinking.. I don’t like it..” it is so darn special and you touch my heart more than anyone could ever have.

Don’t leave baby. I don’t want to go through one more day without you.

If you do, then the only thing you’d see, will be the tears in my eyes.

I love you.

PS: That talk we had, made me fall in love with you, a thousand ways more.. AND I want to continue falling in love with you.

Ephemerality.

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn’t seem such a waste
It all revolves around you..

I can’t help but fall for you more and more each day.

Digression.

I’m feeling almost miserable right now. I just can’t seem to make you mine and I can’t seem to be able to think straight. I’m lost in my own world of helpless rendezvous. A facade so powerful, blanket me over with a million perfect smiles but helpless disposition of my own dark thoughts. I’m falling into the dark side. Step mana peh STAR WARS?

Why can’t I just learn about ephemerality and that it only exist in fairytales?

And now I’m on a raised platform of insecurities. Truth is, I know the reason why. But I feel so stupid to even raise this issue because trust me.. Its something yang tak perlu ah sebenarnya.

And I need to learn – oh my god.. for like the millionth time, can someone please tell me to never walk away when I’m angry or insanely just don’t care? Because everyone happen to have a problem with it and I, being me, I still can’t help myself to stop doing that.

AND LAST..

I’m sorry for breaking your heart. I know, it’ll never heal any part of the hurt I’ve caused and most times when I think of it, I feel like crying. I haven’t cried one bit because I like to play the pretend game – that I’m always strong but truth is, while I tried to be and while I was at it, I just happened to get better at it.

And now I’m almost emotion-less when it comes to you.

Addicted.

I will love you more than that
I won’t say the words
Then take them back
Don’t give loneliness a chance
Baby listen to me when I say
I will love you more than that.

Baby, there’s never a day that I spend with you bored, your cute little antics.. Breakfast with you, morning/afternoon walks, holding your hands, the way you smell entice me and the way you smile.. Tak boleh angkat ah sebenarnya.

How I’m so mentel when I’m with you and how you pamper me with little details like cutting my nails and.. sigh, you just take my breath away, more and more every single day.

You lure me into your world and now.. I’m addicted.

Back Of The Club.

I love the way we dance in the back of the club,
Girl you know you drive me crazy.
When you hold my thigh real close to yours,
Make me feel like I’m your baby.I just met you but..
I’ll show you what to do.. to do it right.
We’ll be dancing, just relaxing
Be in back of the club all night.

Amaze me, astound me, enamor me, stun me and surprise me. Baby, the way you move drives me crazy, your smile captivates me and your laughter is the best medicine to any fools whose dreams have fallen apart. My passion hasn’t gone away.

I’m thinking of your smile.. I’m enlightened. I don’t need something new. I don’t need anyone.

I just want to be with you (:

Speechless.

Truly. Its not how, she’s just so different, so way out of my league.. never mind the little things that makes us all weird. Is it the little things you do? The way your eyes shine and reflect that exact same wordless splendor or is it my illusion that they are of the actual contentment the way I’m feeling?

You give me butterflies when we kiss.

While you worry about being something more next to me, I worry more about how it will be when we pull away.. but I promise, to take us right back to the start.. where it all begins with a simple hello and a smiple gesture of a smile.

A line so familiar, I’m right outside your door, there’s a pretty girl waiting for me outside my door. Its been such a long time coming. Come on baby.. what have you done to me? Heh!

Errmm. I miss Tatia Nurfarina! I can’t remember when she’s coming back and I just miss her.

Oh, suddenly, I’m speechless at its best.

That Girl.

I haven’t been updating for a while because the server at home is being a bitch.

Love is so undefined. It only takes a few minute to fall in love but you can take years to move out of it. I’ve never seen myself as a strong person when it comes to her – because until now, I just can’t seem to find the reasons why I’m still holding on. I just know that I can be in like with someone else but I can never love another person the way I love her. I can try but I refuse to. I’m just not that strong. The day I get the idea that there can no longer be me and her will be the day she move on with someone new.

I love you like no other.

And the little things we all do, to get the complicating idiosyncrasies out of our head sometimes takes alot to get there. I think I’m one of the person/people for that matter and no matter how long you try, it just doesn’t get out of you.

IN SILENCE, I’M REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU.

Back to it, I’m in the comfort zone of Isyah’s family and it has been great thus far. As much as she feels at home when she’s at my place, I feel the same way when I’m at hers. Starting to get acquainted with your friends’ family, sometimes its good and sometimes, it has its cons but whatever it is, I feel that all of us need that comfort no matter who we are. Its a different kind of comfort that you just don’t get anywhere else, you can’t even pay for it to feel this way. Just to salvage ourselves from falling to something depressing, it actually do get you out of the way you feel. Well, at least as human beings.

I have no more thoughts right now and maybe, yup, that’s for a little something.

I don’t know why you guys are reading this. Haha.

Never mind, the girl and me has a new song together, BUTTONS.

I think she knows that im tryin to get at her
Im a go ahead and try to put in work
Whats your name, whats your number can I hit you up
If you digging what im sayin let me know whats up
So baby let me know if I can take you home (take you home)
I just wanna be somewhere where were alone alone
Cuz youre the one for me..

Random things aside, I’m done for now. Loves.

Such Love.

I wanted to update a little this afternoon after my bike pract, yes, I failed again and.. something happened to my space bar. I am still having the same problem right now but Sharain fixed it, thank GOD for her. Ok, the space bar button is irritating me ah sebenarnya.

And I don’t know how many times I ate today because.. I was so hungry la. I didn’t eat anything proper or enjoyed my food for the past few days because I swear I couldn’t.

Oh, everything that I wanted to blog have slipped my mind. I mean, I can’t remember what those are and so.. anyway, I met up with the girls just now and yeah, Starbucks tu dah macam rumah sendiri ah. Seriously. Anyhow.. it was fun. Always fun.

And yes, they are the things that made 2006 such love.